Ingrown Toenail Fun, Isaan Thailand.

Warning as there are a few pictures later on that some people may find distressing and if you faint, vomit or die, I am not responsible. As simple as that.

The other week I posted this picture about an ingrown toenail that was giving me a little grief. I had tried to remove it myself but it was too far gone or grown in and I knew this meant a visit to a doctor and having it cut out. That is coming soon but first some boring history.

There are people I have met that have never had broken bones, stitches, been in a car crash and so on, I am not one of those people. I have done all of those and more and I have had an ingrown toenail before as well, way back in the early 90’s, more on that later.

I can remember back to when I was a young fella, growing up in the sleepy country town of Portland in Australia. I wasn’t even a teenager and had my first encounter with a needle in my foot, way back then.

From memory I had cut my foot badly in the park right near our house (mum set me straight if wrong) and it meant off to the hospital. The gash needed stitches and I remember the doctor saying, “This will hurt.”

Well hurt wasn’t near what I remember. It felt like the doctor had jammed the needle in the cut and I remember swearing out loud, really loud (mum is this correct) and poor mother was more embarrassed than probably shocked from my expletive. The nurse had a good hold of me; otherwise I would have been running down the road. I was a wuss back then.

Fast forward to the early 90’s and I was living in Trinity Beach, about 20klms from Cairns. At Trinity Beach there was a small shopping centre called Coastwatcher Shopping Centre (wonder if it is still there), had an excellent fish and chip shop, an IGA style supermarket and Trinity Beach Gym that was run by a legend of a guy called Mike.

And of course there was a doctor’s practice there. This was run by Dr. Jack Dascalu. Dr. Jack is well known and was a minute walk from the house. My mate’s mother was the receptionist and nurse. So when I had my first ingrown toenail I had ventured to see Dr. Jack.

The good Dr, took a look and said that he would have to cut it out, so out of one room and into another. I remember the toe being cleaned and the needle prepared and then watching the needle plunge into my toe, and it bloody stung and at one time the local anesthetic shot out of my toe when the needle was pushed too far.

Then the good Dr took a pair of scissors and started cutting away at the side of the ingrown nail. Then with what were like a pair of pliers the nail was ripped out, roots and all. In all it didn’t hurt so bad after the removal from memory so I wasn’t so fussed about having another one removed.

This is where things started to get interesting here in Ubon Ratchthani Thailand. Way back on the 25th of August I posted the picture above. I had planned to have it removed the next day.

I dropped into a clinic I had been before and was met with a straight out, “no can do” and told to go to the hospital. I thought you have to be kidding and tried another clinic to get much the same response. So I decided to try a clinic closer in the city the next day, but there too I was told to go to the hospital.

So I waited and on the Saturday morning went to the private hospital 300mtrs from my house. I stopped at the nurses’ station that greets you on the right as you enter; I explained my problem by showing them and was then directed into the emergency department.

A couple of nurse came out and looked and asked if it hurt and I politely replied, “yes” while thinking “of course it does you bloody retarded idiots, look at it all red, puffy and inflamed and full of puss.”

The doctor in the ED popped out of her room, didn’t even look at me and the nurse came over and said, “cannot do” and then I understood something about it being done the next week and something else. A quick call to Noot revealed this was partly correct and a doctor would be on duty Tuesday evening who would be able to remove the nail.

I stood there listening to Noot tell me this while looking at some smiling faces like this was normal. I was thinking and wanted to say, “You cannot be fuc#ing serious, can you?” But I knew this would be no use at all. So I just walked out not saying anything and hoping they were thinking “what I was doing.”

So I then planned to go the government hospital, surely they have a hundred doctors just waiting for a chance to chop at a farang’s foot. So I thought I could suffer through until the coming Friday as there was an open day at the school and it meant signing in and leaving.

So that day came and I went to the hospital, told the wait was a few hours, went and visited a mate and then returned. Saw a doctor and was told that I could have it removed on the 23rd. Now I was starting to think it was a candid camera set-up and just waiting for me to go off and then everyone comes out laughing. So with a date fixed I left and will not return as I finally went back to the private hospital near my house.

We called ahead and there was a doctor there ready and willing to do the procedure. I met him in his office, he had a look and agreed the nail needed extracting and I was off to the ED again.

Ten minutes later the doctor arrived, I asked about filming and he said that he didn’t think the hospital would like that and he had never had someone ask him this before. So it finally came time for the needle. I knew it was going to sting, and it bloody did too. I still flinched and my foot pulled back, I think just from the needle prick, and the poor nurse wasn’t expecting this or wasn’t holding on very tightly.

So the needle was jabbed in the base of the toe, both sides. This was strange as the other time I had it done the needle was only on the offending side, but I found out a little later why this was.

A few minutes went by and the prick test was done, “Can you feel this?” No and we were right to go. I was chatting away to the doctor while watching and know he moved from Bangkok 2 years ago, will stay until his oldest boy is ready to go to secondary school in 8 years time and then will return to Bangkok. And there is more but not important.

The reason he had numbed the entire toe was because he was removing the entire toenail, I knew this when he started ripping it out and when I asked the stupid question, “Are you removing the entire nail?” I already knew the answer to it.

So I watched him pull the nail off my toe and blood flowed from my toe and the procedure was over in maybe 15 to 20 minutes. I have since read that this isn’t such a good procedure to have as apparently ingrown nails can become more common (I bloody hope not).


Anyway, that wasn’t the worst of it. The Dr bid goodbye and the nurse bandaged my toe up. I was then given instructions on caring for my toe the next few days and to change the bandages every day until the toe is dry.

I had asked to keep the nail as I wanted to photograph it and also show my mates (I am a sick man, I know) but when I asked for it was told it had been thrown out…..

But the worst came the next day. I prepared to change the bandage. I unwrapped the bandage and got down to the gauge to find they had not used a non stick gauge. I will not even go into the language I used over the coming five minutes as I peeled away the bandage that had stuck to my toe.

We had been to the chemist and bought non stick gauge and Noot had no idea what I was talking about at first. She did twenty minutes later witnessing me peel the gauge from my toe making my toe bleed again.


I can tell you I called the nurse every name you could think of and worse and when I ventured to the hospital alone as Noot would not come and I expressed my disappointment at their lack of insight that the gauge would have stuck to the wound.

I was met with blank, brainless stares and an occasional nod of the head and left, I accomplished nothing but felt better.

So now my toe is on the mend, it is sore but my biggest worry was reading that this procedure could cause worse ingrown nails in the future. I will be doing much more research on that.

The bandage peeled off with ease tonight, thankfully to myself. No ripping the surface on my toe again this time.

Anyway, that was the story of my ingrown toenail that is now history and I do hope it stays that way.

Brunty