Engrish (English) on Thai Products, Thailand.

I have been going to write this blog for a few days now, but each time something happens and I end up writing about something else. Like my mate and his delusional hopes of making an AFL grand final and rabid dogs trying to attack me.

But finally some spare time, and this is about Thai products that have English translations on them.

The big international companies are no worries; they often have multiple languages on their products. It is the locally made products that I often get a good chuckle out of. At times I have absolutely no idea what they are trying to say as the English is so bad.

Above is a bottle of “Milk Vitamin” from a Thai company that I blurred the name out. Thai people are very vain and the amount of “defamation” cases I have read about in papers is laughable. Thai Hi So’s suing some other tosser because they called them a pea brain or something along those lines. So I am just being careful.

Thai beauty products are in a surplus, never have I seen a country that offers locally made miracles and cures for all sorts of things, from acne to enlarging your breasts. These are all curable by some sort of cream in Thailand.

The amount of Dr’s, which grace the product label for the miracle cream, gives me a chuckle. I cannot remember a Dr, back home claiming a product cured some ailment. I am sure there were but I never noticed.

Anyway, Noot’s older sister has been visiting for a week and her usual arsenal of products have been gracing the bathroom. Each trip the product changes to a new brand, the newest fad I am sure.

I would not lie; Noot’s sister would spend somewhere close to $10,000 baht per month just on product care, not including all the hairdressing appointments and so on. She just had rhinoplasty done. When they see me giggling at products they will often enquire to what I am laughing at.

Usually the price of the products. You can get cheap products in Thailand, but if you are ever at border crossing and even bus stations you might notice the posters warning of the dangers of buying beauty creams. Pictures accompany of women’s faces that are permanently scarred for life.

Anyway, the “Milk Vitamins” was 790 baht a bottle, around $24 Australian dollars. That is an outlay for most Thais, trust me. But when you look closely at the instructions, this is where it makes you laugh.



Here is a bottle of “Mineral water for showers” and also 790 baht.

Pure mineral water nourishing with vitamins for skincare. Making your skin brighten, softness, with herbal smell made you feel fresh relaxing and protected your skin from inflame, pimple, heat and reducing from body odore (odour).

And the directions to use it:

Using in shower, rinse the mineral water on synthetic fiber, with pure water, scrub its until the bubble.

I am not picking on this company as they are a dime in the dozen in Thailand. What I cannot understand is how they let such poor English onto their products.

Even if these companies had people with degrees, masters or even doctorates in English, this means shit. I met an older lady who has a doctorate in English, but she could not even have the most basic of conversation. I also have met many with degrees in English, some can hold a basic conversation but that is the limit of it.

I cannot understand how these companies don’t outsource to a native foreign speaker to check their product information. I am sure many of the company owners must have foreign friends, most are well off Thais and surely meet foreigners. How they don’t just ask, “Hey John, can you check the English for our product please?”

I think it is Thailand’s stupid “face” crap. The loss of face, asking for help. If they ask for help it means they are not competent or something along those lines. I think this has to be it.

They would probably be better off grabbing a bar girl with 10 years experience, she would have a better command of English then most scholars and graduates. Heck, head down to Nana or Patpong and buy a foreigner a beer and have the English checked.

But if this happens I won’t have anything to giggle at when I am having shower.

Brunty