Revision, Final Tests and Golf in Isaan Thailand.

I haven’t updated for a while, one I have been busy. We have final exams this coming week and it has meant revision sheets for the students. A week of revision for 130 students meant a lot of marking.

Also printing all the final exams and getting all the final paperwork prepared to hand in and so forth. So I am really looking forward to my two month break. My patience is very short and I have to keep biting my lip when I can and just remind myself it is only 2 more days of work and I am free.

I have however been able to spend a little time relaxing. Last night I went to a mates place to watch the Premier League, I had planned on only watching the early game being his team Chelsea V’s Manchester City. He had cooked an excellent roast and the conversation just went on as the time kicked over. In the end I left at half time in the final match.

I watched the second half at home, went to bed too late 3am, and was up at 5.20am as a couple of mates and I were playing golf. My mate picking me up got lost, turned off a little early for my place, by about a kilometre. But a phone call and directions he eventually found me.

Our other mate was at the course waiting for us. We were a little late. We haven’t been playing consistently enough so the first few holes were expected to be a little rough. And they were. You can buy ten golf balls for 100 Baht $3.30 Australian and my mate did this as last time he donated a few.

So off we went, balls going everywhere, taking the piss out of each other, so just enjoying ourselves. After 6 holes I heard my mates caddy say that he had run out balls, he was on his last one. I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. So I gave two balls to her hoping they would last for the last 3 holes so he could buy another bag of balls at the turn.

I have never played with anyone who has lost 10 balls in 6 holes, well at this course. At a course I used to play at a lot in Cairns, Australia called Paradise Palms. I have seen medium handicappers shoot 120 off the stick here and high handicappers shot 150 plus and lose too many balls to count. I have even shot in the 90’s there on bad days or when the weather was tough. My highest score was 95 on a day no-one would have played if sane. The AGU or course rating is 76 or 4 over par.

In 1990 I was blessed to watch Greg Norman, Bernhard Langer, Curtis Strange and a Japanese god of golfing Isao Aoki play a skins game to official open the course. After the game there were recommendations to change some things, less bunkers and also lessen some of the undulations in the greens. There used to be 130 bunkers from memory but now there are only 94.

If you go and look at the hole by hole tour, you will see the layout and it looks daunting on paper but when you actually played it, this is when you seen the monster it could be. I was lucky to be able to play there for free or $20 for as many holes as I could play. But I lived at the practice facilities all my spare time and my golf went to another level over these years. It is when I became a scratch golfer for brief moments but played off of 1 mostly for 7 plus years. It is the thousands upon thousands of golf balls hit over these years, which still enables me to shoot an average score without any practice. The hardest part is of course pitching and putting which is all feel nowadays.

I am actually backing up tomorrow for another 18 holes of golf tomorrow with the same guys at an easier course. So it won’t be as many lost balls. Today I had an 88 which is shit, but I hadn’t played for three weeks and I pitched and putted terribly. That’s golf.

We will now have our niece for virtually the entire two months of holidays. So we are going to be busy looking after her, but we love doing this. Noot has her graduation this coming Saturday and this means a morning over craziness that only Thailand can do.

Tomorrow is a holiday, Tuesday a normal day of school and then Wednesday is the final tests. Then I am kids free until May 13th or around then, I am so happy about this. 9 months is enough and the three months of paid holidays is needed to keep the sanity of teachers, well try to keep their sanity.

Brunty

Tenpin Bowling in Ubon Ratchathani Thailand

The other week a few teachers and I attended a night at Sunee Hotel for our school. We had slipped out for a few beers and a chat away from the dancing. We had made our way to this place. It isn’t a disco but the tenpin bowling centre.

One thing Sunee Hotel has to do is turn the bloody music down in the bowling centre. It is stupidly loud. You cannot talk normally as the music blares out so loudly. If you are at the bar this isn’t a problem but when you hit the lanes, it is deafening.

For some reason so many places in Thailand think that the louder the music the better. I would not take Nong Ja there as it is too loud and my friend also feels the same for his young daughters.

Anyway, I hadn’t bowled for a few years and we booked a lane from the cashier’s desk.

The girls were very helpful and also offered a huge smile.

Mr. T’s daughter had never bowled before so was pretty excited.

Now dad is a bit of an old hand so offered some tips for her.

And his wife was also a tenpin bowling newbie and also needed a few tips to get started.

Mr. A, a fellow teacher was one of the partners in crime for the night.

And the bowling teacher of course was playing too, he was a bit of a shark.

We had such a great night that a few weeks later we were back again. It was the same crew but a few additions this time. Our elusive mate who often has to turn down requests to do things because he is too busy graced us with his presence.

And his bowling delivery looked good but the results weren’t fantastic. A bit like myself.

And also Miss Noot had come along. She had only bowled twice before and that was a few years ago.

She had a bit of trouble early but after a while started to get the hang of it again.

It was a lot of fun and do recommend it to anyone in the area. If you have really young kids the only problem is the really loud music. Maybe through the day it isn’t so bad. But both times I have been in the evening it is silly to have it so loud.

Brunty

New Thai Dancing Star, Isaan Thailand.

Miss Noot has joined a dancing troupe and is scooting off to unknown parts of Thailand.

Okay, not really. She is having a big party at the university she attends, she has finished her degree and it means party time for them all.

One part of this is that she and 5 of her friends are going to do a dance. The outfits are borrowed from Ben’s school who were very generous to lend them out for the night. This is the most skin Miss Noot has ever shown in public. They were going to wear a bodysuit type of thing but they looked so funny and the girls decided to be risqué.

The last week at my house has been repetitive to say. Having the girls rehearsing in the lounge room to the same music for hours would have driven me crazy, but I escape to my room and listen to good old country music streaming live from America and a station called The Wolf at 99.5 and it plays current and old music and kept me sane this week.

So tonight is the big night for Miss Noot, I was invited and would have loved to go and watch university girls dressed scantily, dancing away but 4 or 5 hours of it is a little too much for me. I politely declined because of work commitments but gave Noot the small camera and the video camera to hopefully capture some of the action.

Apart from this exciting news, not a lot is happening. At work most are really looking forward to the holidays. Everyone is very tired and our patience is wearing thin. We keep reminding ourselves that it is only a week of school left until a long break of 8 weeks.

So I keep counting to 10 when needed, try to smile and just not say what I want to say in certain situations. I will be free from the ‘Thainess’ soon and be able to return to normality of my western abode, being my home. There are so many things I love about Thailand but there are so many things at work that makes me want to explode. As I said, count to ten.

Tomorrow night we have a ten pin bowling night planned, a teacher and his family and maybe another local expat (if he can find time from his busy schedule). My friend’s daughter had such a blast the other week when we bowled; she has been asking him everyday since as to when they were going back again.

Anyway I must go as there is a big day or racing tomorrow and on Saturday and I have so much to do. Many videos still to watch and form to finish. I am hoping to be in bed before 2am. Life is hard for some, isn’t it?

Brunty

Thai Niece Nong Ja, Isaan Thailand.

Last Sunday was Valentines Day; I had a very nice offer to attend a party that would have had very pretty promotional girls and silly games taking place.

A local company were going to have fun with condoms and then head to the local park to hand them out to the locals. Apparently many young Thai girls lose their virginity on Valentines Day and also many get pregnant. I am sure Thailand isn’t the only country this happens.

Instead I went out to pick up my Thai Niece, Nong Ja and bring her back to the city for a week. We got back to the city after visiting a temple, eating and then watching a Mor Lum concert.

I thought I was in for luck when Nong Ja and Miss Noot headed to the bed for a sleep. An hour or so sleep was what I needed. But of course this wasn’t going to happen. Nong Ja sat their playing and fooling about but Miss Noot was soon snoring away.

Then Nong Ja and I were off for an afternoon walk, usually this takes place in the mornings. Nong Ja has this little elephant thing that that clicks away as she walks, can get a little irritating after awhile.

So we headed off toward the chickens and the cows as the sun slowly went down.

We head across the gravel short cut to the food shops and market.

We then walked amongst the small stalls that sell what you see at any Thai market across Thailand.

We made our way back to the food shops and ordered dinner, I then carried Nong Ja home with her toy, drinks and food being juggled. Thankfully we only live around 400 metres away from the shops.

Today being Tuesday I arrived home to see this, Nong Ja waiting for me. Miss Noot was off to practice some dancing for a show at their university on Thursday evening. That meant Nong Ja and I were alone to play around.

Like any kid, she loves to be outside the house. We spend plenty of time outside in the front of the house or going for walks. She also likes to pretend she is riding the motorbike as well.

She entertains herself well; here she is flicking ants away from a trail they were walking.

Just across from our house there are a couple of jumping castles that have been set-up. They have huge speakers blaring out music but thankfully they are not facing towards the house or there would be words for sure.

Nong Ja and Lily get along pretty well, She is a little rough at times but they can play for ages together. And after a while she decided it was time for another walk to get dinner.

So we set off for an hour or so, the usual people saying, ‘hello’ to Ja and wanting to give her a cuddle and so forth. It is tiring but so pleasing to look after her and spend time with her. I don’t care how tired I feel.

As I type this she is fast asleep a few metres away on the bed after another big day in the city.

Brunty

N-Joy Buffet and Happy Hour Ubon Ratchathani

Down at the local expat hang out, N-Joy there is a buffet happening every Wednesday night. It costs 99 Baht all your stomach can take. Lance and Tom knock up the feed and I ventured down for the first time last Wednesday night and enjoyed a lot.If you click here you can see directions on how to get there.

This is the chef and proprietor Lance who cooks a bloody good feed and serves the coldest beer you will find in Ubon, no actually Thailand. It comes out of the fridge with ice on the bottles. No good for you Pommy’s though as we know you like your beer warm.

And talking about beer, on Wednesday night if you order the buffet you have a ‘happy hour’ for two hours from 6pm until 8pm you get a small beer for 35 Baht and a large beer for 50 Baht (Leo and Singh I believe) other premium beers I am not sure of prices.

There is of course western style food as well as Thai food for the girls who definitely eat more than us guys.

Lance works the small grill, grilling a variety of meat and fish. He even knocks up a stir fried vegetable to boot.

And Tom always with a big smile keeping the punters happy and the food coming.

So if you are looking for a good feed and a cold beer midweek, head to N-Joy and don’t forget the 2 hour happy hour as well.

Brunty

Isaan Village Mor Lum Concert, Thailand.

Last night I ventured out to N-Joy, an expat meeting place to watch the F.A Cup and also have a few quiet beers with some mates. Anyway the football went on till late into the night and so did the dancing, and golden oldie songs and some absolute horrors from the 80’s. What it turned out to be was an excellent night and a heap of laughs to boot.

I didn’t return home until just before 2am, I watched the last 15 minutes of the Reading V WBA game and then hit the sack. Well actually I crashed out on the sofa in front of the TV.

I awoke at about 5am and went to the bedroom, I thought I would be getting nice sleep in as Nong Ja wasn’t with us tonight, we have her for the entire week and she spent the night in the village. I didn’t understand as I am sure it wasn’t explained to me that we had to go out to the village at 9am in the morning (Sunday).

So when Miss Noot woke me at 8.30am and was telling to go and shower I had 20 questions to ask. So with heavy eyes and a slightly sore head I showered and auto piloted to the village.

In the end it was a trip to the temple to make merit (I didn’t need to be there for that), breakfast and chatting (didn’t need to be there for that either).

Finally I was told of the huge surprise, an Isaan Style Mor Lum concert. I was again asking questions as all Mor Lum concerts I have been to never start till late afternoon or evening and go until early morning.

The concert was being held about 400 metres away from the temple in a forested area. Power had been run from the temple to power the speakers that blare out the unique Mor Lum music. I had been to plenty of concerts inside temple grounds but it looks like finally they have stopped scantily clad girls and alcohol being consumed on temple grounds which is forbidden but ignored most the times.

And what surprised me more is to why they started the concert early and would finish in the afternoon, because of the drunks who cause fights. This is so common at these concerts in the village. I have seen fights taking place and they are no rules all in style, the security enters with hardwood batons and uses them. I have pictures of one concert where the army guys were carrying M16’s and shotguns. Serious shit.

There was a small crowd gathered under a tree that was providing some shade. This was 12.30pm and hot, really muggy and hot.

The people had gathered to watch these guys. There was a main man and woman singer and two young girls showing plenty of flesh.

I could tell it was only a small concert as there were only two small beer or drink stands. At some of the concerts they are everywhere with mostly the Thai whiskey or white rice whiskey being a popular choice.

Even though it was early it seemed some of the young guys were either a little tipsy or just having a good time. They were dancing Lum style and one guy was pretending to be having sex and he though this was hilarious as he thrust his hips. I like to go to the big Mor Lum concerts here in Ubon where it is a lot safer and the security is super tight. The evenings are great fun if not spoiled by drunken fools.


And this is what all the teenage boys and older guys turn up for. Yes, the music too but mostly to watch very young girls wearing hardly any clothes thrust, wriggle, and simulate moves no girls their age should be doing.

And I will leave you with this guy who was really enjoying himself.

Brunty

Spiders and Teaching English, Isaan Thailand.

The other day at school I arrived early as per usual and directly opposite our office door was this spider that had weaved a web that looked like a perfect X.

The spider had weaved the usual web which was hardly visible as the X shape stood out so clearly.

I have never seen a web like this before and have no idea the kind of spider it is and if this is the typical web it usually creates. Maybe a spider person can inform us all.

Well things at school have nearly returned to normality, well as normal as a Thai school can be. The biggest show of the year is over but we still have one more show for the English Bilingual Programme parents to see.

We teachers have to present shows that showcase the amazing ability of using English their children have learnt in the programme. Yes, I am cynical as it is just memory retention with nearly every show having students remember a small line or sentence.

This to me is nothing superb as for a week or so students will not study the curriculum but practice their part in their spectacular. There are 13 shows in all from year 1 to year 9. I am meant to have years 5 and 6, so two classes to prepare.

We have a little more time as we were going to have the shows this weekend being the 13th but this is the Chinese New Year and many students are away getting money from Chinese relatives as many are descendants.

My Thai team teacher has come up with an idea from the year 5 kids but I am doing a really naughty tongue in cheek crack with the year 6 kids at some Thai ways and I know this will not go down well with some, but I like to push boundaries.

It has been a shock the first two days of this week without a single class being cancelled, two days and I have had to teach all 8 periods on my timetable. And the rest of the week looks as though there won’t be any interruptions either. But anything can happen in the blink of an eye.

Next year I am teacher year 12 again or the senior students as many teachers have many problems with them. I volunteered to teach them as when I used to teach senior level I never had any problems that many of the current teachers are experiencing.

I am strict; I do have a really bad bark if you like to say. My bark is much worse than my bite but I do bite time to time when it is needed. The current year 11 students who will be year 12 next school term, have interviews this week, One, to gauge their English ability, Two, to give them a bit of a scare and Three, to give them something to think about over the holidays.

I will present them with my 15 rules pertaining to my class. They are all pretty basic with the usual, respect the teacher and classmates, complete work that is set, listen when the teacher or others are speaking, bring all materials to class, don’t be late to class and so forth.

Warnings will be issued but students that don’t follow these rules will then have grade deductions for any breaches. All the deductions are fixed and laid out in the contract each student signs before starting my class. All the rules and the punishments are explained in English and Thai. The student signs the contract and it is witnessed by the department head.

I have done this before with senior students, they lose 6% in grade reductions and this starts making a big effect on their final grade. The kids that want to enter certain universities cannot afford to have reductions. So many will tow the line and work hard, which is all I want.

The kids who don’t and couldn’t give two shits about their education have their parents called when 20% of deductions have been totalled. This doesn’t take long for some, maybe two weeks of class. We have a meeting outlining the problems and the ways the student can turn their transgressions around.

If a student then reaches 35% in deductions another meeting is called with the parents. The student is suspended for 1 week from class. The parents are warned that if 50% of grade reductions are totalled the student is expelled from class indefinitely.

It is amazing how parents take an active involvement in their son or daughter’s education if they know there are problems in the classroom, and what the actual problems are and if you have offered them some possible solutions or ways that little Johnny can mend his ways.

Some parents can get a little worked up, but I stick to my guns not matter what. I don’t care if they are the governor, top policeman, or a multi millionaire. I treat them all the same. I don’t get into the Hi-So different levels of Thai society crap that can go on. I always show respect to the parents, but if they cross a line I give a lot better than a get.

I have had kids who hated me at the start of the year, and usually do through the whole first semester but they see that it doesn’t matter if it is the best student or the bottom student of the class, all are treated the same. Most come around and end up respecting you even though weeks before they looked like they wanted to hit you.

I had one kid who detested me a few years back; I rode him hard and didn’t give him an inch. He hated me, would not acknowledge me, and would do nearly everything opposite to what I asked him to do.

After a couple of months and talking to his parents and when he saw that the best students would be punished if they broke rules and anyone would be praised and rewarded for hard work and participation. He started to come around.

He wasn’t a model student, but he improved, he tried in class and actually started completing homework and even coming and asking for help. The biggest shock to me and I knew that he realised I was tough for all of them was when he would always greet me with a Thai ‘wai’ and say good morning teacher. I new this was a little win but a huge step forward.

I always make it 110% clear to my senior students that all I ask for is 50 minutes of their day where they listen, pay respect and participate in activities. I do not expect them to be angels or all perfect but each person to try and be the best of their ability.

I try to have the students who excel to push themselves and even buddy weaker students to help them with problems. This doesn’t mean giving them the answers and this is always stressed as when the unit tests are taken it is easy to see who have done this.

Weaker students I encourage to make that extra 15% effort to improve their English ability to an acceptable level. Ask for help and bring work that was marked incorrect back in when they have corrected their mistakes. I even give them basic vocabulary lists that I would usually give primary students.

Usually it takes a month and I can group students in categories, see which are excelling, which are coasting, others that are trying, others who are out of their depth and need help and the others who are showing no signs of anything.

I love pushing the kids, my senior classes I want the kids to shape the lesson. I have lesson plans, a broad outline on the class but I want the kids to create and input ideas and not just have me write everything onto the board like so many teachers do.

Even my primary 1 students, little 6 and 7 year olds. I will introduce a new topic in flashcards and elicit all the vocabulary for the topic. I draw really bad pictures that they fall off the chairs laughing at. But I want to see what they already know, which student knows what, which student is comfortable raising their hand and speaking in class, which students need encouragement to participate in activities, what students need prompting and so forth.

See! Isn’t teaching fun? It has opened my eyes over the years and I wish I could go back and say sorry to some of my teachers for being a smart ass at times. I can still remember the teachers we could really push and the others we couldn’t.

Now through different eyes, older but I am not so sure wiser, look back and wish I could have been a different student but again we can’t change the past.

Brunty

Dancing, Drinking and Ten Pin Bowling, Isaan Thailand.

Well what a day yesterday was, that being Saturday. The day started out great with 9 holes of golf with a few mates. Mr. T my regular partner in crime on the golf course and I had managed to finally persuade another mate into joining us.

So I was up at 5am and at the course by 6am, Mr. A then arrived and was looking relaxed even though he hadn’t played for a long time. Mr. T turned up a little late as he had had a latish night and a few beverages at a school function. Mr. T had to attend the secondary kids’ shows that were on Friday; I had to attend later this day for the primary students.

So we managed to get organised and headed to the tee with caddies in tow. I played a little joke that didn’t work off the first tee, I had a few air shots or in other words completely missed the ball.

Now Mr. A hadn’t played golf for 3 or so months and before that was just a social golfer. He started off pretty well; I mean he made very good contact. The ball took off like a rocket from his tee shot but the accuracy was a little off and his first ball ventured into areas where no man should go.

Okay it wasn’t that far off course, but into the drain full of water and grass and who knows what else. The day continued like this, for him but the most important thing was it was bloody fun and we really enjoyed the morning.

For a guy who hadn’t hit a ball or ever really played golf seriously, he showed moments of potential. With time at the driving range and hopefully more regularly on the golf course he will not be donating as many balls as he did this day. (7 or 8 or maybe more)

Anyway, I started terrible as you can see by my card, an 8 to start. A good tee shot then a terrible second into a lateral water hazard being a drain, a drop then hit it fat short, a terrible chip just over the back for 5, another chip and two putts made an opening 8 or triple bogey.

Thankfully the day did get a lot better. It was just one of those days where things gelled together. I don’t practice, I turn up and play. I cannot tell you how many hundreds of thousands or even millions of practice balls I hit as a youngster. I played off a 1 handicap for years but was on scratch for brief periods but never long enough to claim this as my true handicap.

I was very happy with a 40, I would have been fuming ten years ago, I used to get really pissed off at carding a 74 or two over par. Going over the round looking at where I had left the shots on the course. Those days are gone and now golf is fun for me, to enjoy with mates.

After golf I had to look after my amazing niece, Nong Ja while Noot attended university. It was a good day but long and tiring. I was hoping for an afternoon kip but this didn’t eventuate. Before I knew it, it was time for me to head to the Sunee Grand Hotel for the school’s Assumption Family Night spectacular.

There were 225 tables for the parents and whoever else wanted to turn up and watch the shows from all the classes. Tickets were 400 Baht for a few bottles of soft drink and water, and food as well. I was meant to act as a token farang as I call it. Be noticed by the parents and greet them and even usher them to tables, wasn’t happening.

I instead wandered around and took a few pictures. These were senior students who would be participating in the opening ceremony spectacular.

These are the hosts of the night.

These are small kindergarten students waiting to go onto the stage and do their dance. These students had been practicing relentlessly for the past 3 or so weeks.

This is Miss C, she is a kindergarten teacher and I am sure she is really happy this day has finally come and finished.

A kindergarten student in what I call a stock standard outfit. If anything this is a little too plain. Most students are usually … how can I say it? Mmm, tarted up more.


The punters or mums, dads, grandparents, uncles, aunts or actually any family member or friend of the family who wants to depart with 400 Baht attends.

I stayed for about 40 minutes and then I made my way a floor down from the ballrooms to the Ten Pin Bowling Centre that has this excellent bar. It also has live Premier League Football so this is where I was setting up for the night until upstairs had finished and then I would go home.

So for 440Baht you are given this contraption a beer tower that hold apparently 3 litres of beer and has a tube that is filled with ice inserted into the centre of it to keep it cool. We had the first tower at just before 6.30pm. Mr. T had his daughter doing a show and his wife was going to ring just before she went on.

Now we got a little carried away, and just after 8.30pm I mentioned that we better call Mr. T’s wife as his daughter must have danced by now. She is in primary 2 and the schedule was kindergarten 5.30pm and then primary 1, primary 2 and so forth to primary 6. After a quick call we were informed that she hadn’t danced and was still 20 minutes away.

Finally the call came and Mr. T took off to watch his daughter, I and Mr. A stayed and guarded the beer and also watched the football. Mr. T returned about 40 minutes later and explained that she had only just gone on and did their 3 minute show.

We had 3 of these towers between three of us, and when Mr. T’s daughter wanted to bowling we couldn’t say, ‘no’ so we ordered a 4th tower and went a played a game of bowling. Those pictures will be another day and time.

Today being Sunday, I awoke with a sore head, my own entire fault and my own doing. When my neice woke me at 6.30am to go for our usual walk to see the chickens, cows and then to the market it was the first time I had ever thought of not going.

But when she started to cry trying to put her shoes on and telling me to get up I had to get up, drink some water and also take a few Panadol. The walk seemed like an eternity and when we returned I hit the hay for a few more hours.

I know why I stopped drinking a long time back and just do it on the off occasion or only have a few quiet drinks at home and not 12 beers watching the football. I think old age has matured me, and maybe made me a little wiser.

Brunty