Thailand. When a disagreement could mean a gun as a mediator.

Last night I ventured with my mate Keith to our usual little hangout on a Saturday and Sunday night to watch the FA Cup football. It is 300 metres away from my place and near all the food stalls in the street opposite Big C shopping centre.

We are both too tight to pay 2,200 baht per month to watch the football on True Move pay TV. We get a few games on cable TV each weekend which costs 350 baht per month for 66 channels. Even if they are showing a game we want to watch we still go to the shop as it gets us out of the house and away from our better halves and in Keith’s case the kids.

The guy who owns the shop is called Tong and it is like a little convenience store that sells some grocery items, snack foods and of course drinks. On the weekend if there is a popular game on there will be a large crowd gathered and the beer is going out of the fridge and eskies really quick. We don’t drink and I always get a 2 litre bottle of Coke or Pepsi and Keith has a bottle of water. We order food from one of the many shops across the road and they bring it across to us, you cannot get better service than that.

Last night being Sunday we went to watch the FA Cup game between Burnley and Arsenal. It was a good game and there were only a few of us there with most not bothering to venture out and watch the game. The team on top of the premier league won being Arsenal 2-0 but it didn’t do justice to how unlucky Burnley were, they played good football and didn’t have any luck or could have caused a huge upset.

Anyway we were sitting at our table when we heard a glass smash at the little shop about 50-60 metres down the street. I thought someone had knocked a glass off a table but Keith said “look a fight”. I have never seen a fight or a scuffle in all the time I have been going to Tong’s shop in over a year. It wasn’t really a fight but a wrestling match as no punches were thrown.

A guy sitting at a table with Tong who is friends with the owner of the other shop jumped to his feet and took off. He ran down there and helped his friend by grabbing the guy being wrestled in a headlock. The friend of the guy in a headlock ran to their car parked nearby and came back with a little bag that had a shoulder strap and looked a bit like a purse. He had his right hand in the nag and the cry of (Boon) went up meaning gun. He kept his hand in the bag and made a stop signal with his free hand to the two guys wrestling his mate.

Another guy and then ran to the car and returned with his hand in his jacket pocket like he had a gun in there. He too was motioning to them to stop and they did and released the guy from the headlock. The two guys with the guns or pretend guns never actually showed a weapon but being here in Thailand most Thai guys carry weapons and they do not hesitate to use them.

If you look at the firearm homicide rates per 100,000 inhabitants you may be surprised as to where Thailand is. This is for a list of 60 countries.

Now this is should be no surprise to anyone that:

South Africa is 1st with 74.57 deaths per 100,000 people.

Columbia was 2nd with 51.77 deaths per 100,000 people.

Thailand was 3rd with 33 deaths per 100,000 people.

Then there was Guatemala 18.05, Brazil with 10.58 and then the rest came in under 10 per 100,000 List of countries by firearm-related deaths.

Did these two guys have guns, I don’t think so. If they did I am sure that one would have pulled the gun out and shown it. Most of the people didn’t seem too concerned about what was happening and there were only a few people watching what was going on.

The problem here in Thailand is you don’t know who has a gun. A lovely English lady who is a teacher where I work once said this to her husband.

“Why don’t you beep your horn at people who cut you off?”

He replied “I don’t know who has a gun.”

This is a Thai mans outlook at beeping your horn at one of the many idiotic and selfish drivers on Thai roads. I jump on the horn of my motorbike and use body language and sign language to any fool that cuts me off or puts me in danger. I let the idiots know.

On my motorbike I don’t have a weapon to defend myself if needed. If I have my bag I carry my favourite little thing which is my extendable solid steel baton. The ones you see police carry. It’s just a little too big and uncomfortable to put into your pocket but goes into my jacket fine.

At home I have a lovely Clint Eastwood that stays very close to the bed and goes with us on any longer drives as you never know what can happen. I hope I never have to reach for it little only use it. If I ever felt threatened or was worried about a loved one being in danger I wouldn’t hesitate or blink an eye.

I have told myself many times to try and be Thai and do the Mai Pen Rai thing. I can only do it doesn’t matter so often before I need someone who has endangered my life that they know of this. Usual when I have just blasted the horn for a good 4-5 seconds and pulled up along side the offender and I am giving him/her the sign language for “look” and then maybe the sign language for “you are a dickhead” I think how stupid it was and what if it was someone who snapped at losing some face to a farang and he decides to flip out.

I know it isn’t worth it and I tell myself this all the time but it cannot get through my thick skull. I am hoping with a little more time I will become one of those Thais that say “never mind” to anything that might cause the slightest ripple of conflict.

Brunty